Let us normalise that struggling to maintain a tranquil and delightful relationship with our teenage child is part of life. Our children are physically, mentally, and emotionally going through a rollercoaster in those developmental years. It is not our job to control them, but rather to embrace them (easier said than done). Therefore, I am happy to share some strategies that worked for me as a mom and a Children's Life Coach to help you connect and bond with your teens at home.
Join in on their favorite activity:
No matter how crazy that might sound, take hold of that PlayStation controller, try to do a flip in the pool like them, and watch that Japanese anime movie. Show interest in their favorite activity.
Befriend your teen's friends:
You should learn to love your teenager's friends and really care about them. If you know they struggle, check on them through your teenage child. Everyone wants to see that they made a great choice in choosing their friends, which will validate it.
Take them out for a meal:
A one-on-one meal in your teen's favorite spot is an ideal opportunity to spark conversations and bond. It also makes them feel unique and heard, especially if they have siblings that you are taking time to be with them alone.
Be a good listener:
Sometimes, all our teenagers need is for us to listen—not lecture or give advice. Read the room and don't interrupt them. Ask the right question: "Do you need me to give feedback? Or to listen?"
Respect their emotions and mood swings:
Validate their emotions, even if they don't make sense to you. Please don't attempt to give them examples from when you were young; it makes them feel unheard. Try to hold their hand throughout the rollercoaster of emotions as long as they are respectful and not hurting anyone else.
Tell them that you love them as they are:
Adolescence is a developing phase for our children; some feel awkward in their bodies and socially. They might not respond as they would when younger, but please don't stop telling them you love and appreciate them.
I'd be happy to hear your thoughts and feedback if you have tried any of the above and what works best for your family.
Lots of love,
Yasmine
