When our children are dysregulated or anxious, our first instinct is to find ways to make them feel better instantly. During that process, we sometimes dismiss their emotions or come up with temporary fixes or random solutions. The process is painful either way for parents to see their children in that emotional distress. Today, I would like to share with you a few suggestions on how to ease the anxiety in your children.
THE SOURCE
First, you need to understand that there are a few reasons for the child to be anxious. According to Kid’s Health, several things play a role in causing the overactive "fight or flight", which can be due to any of the following: genetics, brain chemistry, life situations or learned behaviors. The reason I am including the potential sources here is that you might be aware of the reason behind the anxiety. But if you don’t, then please don’t panic. A therapist can help with that assessment if the anxiety is deeply rooted.
HELP AT HOME
Secondly, parents can try to ease the feeling of anxiety in their child by trying some of the below suggestions.
Validate the emotion by saying:
“I know what you are feeling is hard”
“It is okay to feel that way”
“I am here for you”
“We will get through this together"
“You are safe here with me”
Help them regulate their emotions by saying:
“Let us try breathing deeply together”
“Let us name the emotion”
“Would you like to talk about it? Would you like a hug? Or draw? Or write about your worries?’
“Where in your body do you feel that big emotion?”
“Would you like to go for a walk and try to spot birds together?"
When they are calmer, suggest the following:
“Being worried, doesn’t make you a bad human. We all experience different emotions and all of them are okay”
“Next time you get worried, try the breathing exercise, jumping jacks or draw your emotions”
“How about we try to turn your worry into wonder? Example: I feel scared of riding my new bicycle. I wonder what it will feel like to try it out?”
“Please share with me every time you experience worry. I am always going to be here for you”
EXPERTS
Lastly, I am not a Therapist, I am a Children’s life Coach. So if my suggestions above weren’t helpful in calming your child down and you didn’t manage to understand the root cause, then it is time to talk to a therapist. Most anxiety cases are treated with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which teaches children how they think and behave does impact their feelings. It teaches them that facing the worrying thoughts can help them combat the worries and it goes away.
I hope this article gave you some direction and ideas of how to manage anxiety with your child.
Lots of love,
Yasmine
